Kylie: [00:00:00] Welcome back to episode of the Hormone Hub Podcast, where we talk all things perimenopause, menopause, and have the conversations no one else is having. Sit back, relax, and enjoy this episode. 

Hello, hello, ladies, and welcome back to the Hormone Hub. So in this episode of the Hormone Hub today, I have a guest where we got to hang out in Bali together, which was really fun. And I’ve known him for, or in the online space for a few years now, but to actually meet her in person and hang out was great.

So of course, we had lots of great conversations in Bali and we thought, why not continue the conversation? On the podcast, as you do. So today’s guest is Em Gee. So Em is a marketing and mindset coach for women who want to be unstoppable in business. She’s a highly ambitious mother of two who has never played by society’s rules.

Check out her Instagram and you’ll [00:01:00] see why she loves to challenge the status quo about how we should live our lives. And she is a whole ton of fun as well. So, Em, welcome to the show. It’s great to have you here.

Em Gee: Thank you. Thanks so much for inviting me to be here. 

Kylie: That’s my pleasure. And yeah, so today we thought we’d sort of hit on a few things.

I know that, your business has changed track a couple of times and, we were talking before we hit record about, some big changes that you’ve made this year, but we sort of met when you were sort of doing a lot of mindset work for clients. So I know that that’s particularly relevant to a lot of our ladies listening.

So that’s a bit, avenue that we’ll go down today. So Em, you are a powerhouse. So you’re a bundle of energy. Having that sort of that ambition, that drive, how do you manage your energy to show up in, all areas of your life? 

Em Gee: Yes. And I want to go back in and talk about how I’d made [00:02:00] those changes.

Cause as you know, I was doing mindset mindset coaching was where I went into coaching and I went there because I needed it because I had mental health issues. I needed to work on my mindset. I couldn’t just rely on things like medication or, I mean, I could have, but I chose not to because I knew that there was a better way than just relying on medication.

So I went down that route of, of mindset coaching because of what I learned. And what I then was able to help other people with. And I think how I’ve always managed my energy has not changed regardless, because by default, I’ve had to manage my energy. If I didn’t, I would be depressed or I would be anxious or I would just struggle with life in general.

And the number one thing for me has always been movement. 

Kylie: Yeah. Yep. Absolutely. 

Em Gee: It just changes everything. I exercise every single day. Now I know you’re supposed to have [00:03:00] rest days, but I have active rest days where it might just be going for a walk or swim in the ocean. That’s not like a, you know, proper ocean swim.

It’s just a kind of flail around in the ocean kind of day. Maybe some yoga. Those will be my rest days, but I know that moving my body has a huge impact on my energy. What I didn’t know, maybe five, 10 years ago was how that even works, you know, there’s all this research around how moving your body can really improve your mental health, but I’ve started to understand more about how emotions kind of get trapped in our body and if we don’t feel them and we suppress them and it can cause pain and all of these things that I didn’t actually realize before.

Now I know that it makes so much sense that when you move your body, you kind of shift that energy and it gets the opportunity to be released. It’s kind of like when you sweat, you’re crying or, you know, when you grunt, you’re kind of like letting out some of that aggression, you know, and you get to [00:04:00] do a lot of that when you are working out on top of that, obviously you get the benefits of feeling good in your body, feeling strong.

And I think as well as I’m, as I’m getting older. I’ve noticed how much of a difference it makes even more so because I, I know, like, I want to be able to continue that as I get older, but also I just want to enjoy every single day and you don’t bounce out of bed like you did when you’re in your twenties anymore.

I wish without the work, even, you know, in your twenties and you had three bottles of wine the night before, you still bounce out of bed, but, you know, now it’s like one glass of wine. I’m going, Oh my gosh. 

Kylie: And I’m so glad you said that because, is something I talk about all the time and, for me and the clients that I work with, it’s movement, as long as you are moving your body every single day and it’s exactly that you’re just shifting it up.

You’ve got that blood flow, you’re creating those endorphins. So, it’s always that thing, like, even though you [00:05:00] might feel tired just by moving your body, it creates more energy, which sounds counterintuitive, but, it’s 100 percent true.

Em Gee: Yeah, it is. And I mean, I went and studied personal training specifically because I just wanted to be doing movement.

That was my very, very first business was PT. I started out my own small gym and I just wanted to be moving every single day and get paid for it. And I was potentially over moving at that point because I’d, you know, be working out with clients and I do have to be really aware of that. But that again comes back to that mindset of, you know, also don’t overdo it because then you’re going to completely wreck your nervous system.

You need to have that. 

Kylie: Yeah, that’s right. It’s all about, and funny you say that your first business was a PT. Me too.

Em Gee: Oh, I didn’t know that.

Kylie: Yeah, yeah, that was one area we didn’t cover in Bali. Yeah. It was a long time ago. But yeah, but definitely, and that’s the thing, like it’s, It’s listening to your body and, I think finding, the movement that matches that.

So on your [00:06:00] high energy days where you feel good, everything’s good. You can push yourself a bit more. It can be that grunty sweaty, kind of workout, but it doesn’t mean that you have to commit to five days of bootcamp a week because, and I always say to my clients, if you’re doing something like boot camp or a high intensity or a CrossFit or, something like that and you come home and you need a nap later in the day.

It’s not the right kind of movement for you right now. 

Em Gee: Yes. So yeah, the same, like, you know, when each month I am very aware of, you know, my cycles and making sure that I honor that and I don’t push myself when I know it’s just not the right time.

Kylie: I love that. Yeah. Training for your cycle. We could do a whole other episode on that.

Em Gee: Oh my gosh. Yes. It’d probably be someone you could get on that would have really good information around it. I guess for me. I just. I just know how I feel and I, and I have learned the hard way to listen to what my body is telling me. I used to think that [00:07:00] what my body was telling me was just excuses and that I needed to use my head to get in the game.

You know, like all you have to do is think the thoughts that are going to make you motivated. But actually I don’t think that’s true anymore. I think it’s, that’s a part of it. Like your thoughts do somewhat create your reality, but also your body is trying to tell you things. all the frigging time. 

Kylie: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I think we, as a whole, we’ve got to get better at listening to our body as well. 

Em Gee: We’re not taught how to do that though. 

Kylie: No, no, we’re, ladies, we are not robots. We are not programmed to be the same every day. So listening in, but definitely moving to create that energy is a great one.

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Kylie: Alrighty, so let’s just sort of switch gears here. So you’ve made a lot of big business and life changes recently. So what made you make that decision? And then how do you sort of navigate those changes?

Em Gee: I absolutely love change. And I know that a lot of people don’t like change. But I also kind of have this love hate relationship.

I love change, but I also. Find it hard. It’s normal to find change hard, right? Whenever you do something new, it is [00:09:00] difficult. I guess I grew up in a bit of a situation in my family that there was a lot of change all the time. So it became my norm. It was always a little bit traumatic. So now when I have changed, that’s not traumatic.

I’m like winning, right? So I’m, I’m very aware of that. I’m aware that my. My growing, growing up and my conditioning has kind of led me into seeking change often. And I have to be aware that I’m not like running away from things as well. There’s a lot of, a lot of an inner dialogue that I have to work through.

But the changes I’ve made this year, number one, I burnt down half of my business, which was when I say half of my business was half of my revenue. And I intentionally did that because I knew that I wanted to put my energy into something new and that was really scary because obviously half of your revenue is a lot of money and I all of a sudden was earning less than what I was a few years ago, which, you know, is a challenge.

And another change we made was we moved. To the city we’re living, we were living [00:10:00] 450 kilometers out of Perth. Now we’ve moved to the city. I’ve got, you know, a family. So moving everyone, how are you changing jobs, kids, starting new schools, all of that kind of thing. So big changes there and. I welcomed it with open arms, but it doesn’t mean that it was easy as well.

You know, I knew that it was what we needed. How we make these decisions around making change, I think it can go one of two ways. You either get to the point where you have to make the decision and that’s when you’re in dire straits. You know, that’s when you’re at the bottom of that valley and you’re like, Oh my gosh, there is no, I can’t go further down.

And I do not like to make decisions in that place. 

Kylie: Cause he’s sort of making it out of desperation. 

Em Gee: Exactly. So I, again, from starting to really understand what my body’s telling me, I will see a situation and go, something’s not right. Like, it’s not terrible, but something’s not right. Yes. I need to do [00:11:00] something about this now because…

As an ambitious woman, I don’t have the time to get to the point where I can’t get out of bed each day. Like, I can’t, I can’t get to that point. I need to deal with things before they get to that point and do something about it. And I could tell that where we were living was becoming too small for me.

And it just, I kept getting kind of these moments of, Oh, maybe we should leave, maybe we should leave. And I had a conversation with my husband, it planted the seed and then it was all go, you know, it never got to the point where we were living, that it was, that it was horrible, but it was just like, I’m feeling that pull and I need to listen to that pull because if I don’t, eventually it’s just going to knock me over like a road train, you know.

Yeah. And so that was that decision with the business. It was the same thing. It’s like these little nudges. Usually it’s something that wakes me up at night and I’m like, wait, am I doing the right thing? Is, is this what I should be doing or should I be doing something else? And [00:12:00] when it starts to wake me up at night, I know, okay, something has to change.

Yes. And I think a lot of the time people assume just changing a little bit would be easier, Most of the time, ripping out the rug from underneath and building a whole new empire can actually be easier because you come in with fresh energy and that, that’s pretty much what I did. So I had a program called the Unstoppables, which was a mastermind relatively high price point.

And I wanted to shift into helping women that weren’t able to necessarily afford that, but. I was kind of, you know, at that roadblock of, well, how do I value my time? How do I make sure that this works for me, but also for women that are investing in this, because even for them, it’s 97 a month, even for them, that might be a lot of money.

And I started to explore artificial intelligence. And so I’ve basically built a new wing of my business around artificial intelligence, [00:13:00] around AI. And there’s potentially some women listening to this going, Oh my God, that sounds crazy. It’s so not crazy in 2023. It’s happening everywhere. 

Kylie: That’s it. And I think if we don’t sort of educate ourselves about what it is, cause there’s a fair amount of fear around it too, but we’re always fearful of what we don’t know.

So I think, it’s only going to become a bigger and bigger part of our lives. So it’s something we need to educate ourselves about, learn how we can embrace it because, if we don’t, we’re going to be left behind. 

Em Gee: I 100 percent agree with that. I could record an entire episode on this.

It’s something that I’m very big on right now, particularly for women. We need to be using it, not just because we’re going to get left behind, but because we’re going to lose time. It’s AI when you use it correctly can save you. So much time. And it doesn’t matter whether you have a business or not.

Literally. I had a camping trip that I got chatGPT to help me plan. I told chatGPT where I was going, who I was going with, what camping equipment [00:14:00] we had. It planned out my full packing list, my entire menu so that I, and my shopping list, so that I knew what to go and get from the shops some camping games, some wet weather activities, even some camping jokes, camping.

And we did get wet weather. I must’ve manifested it by putting it into chat. Just the fact that you can plan all of that without having to use so much energy and brain space, it’s huge for women. We wear so many hats. 

Kylie: Yeah, and I think we tend to, when we’re planning for something, say like a camping trip, we have to think of every case scenario.

We have to think of wet weather, dry weather, windy weather, cold weather, this, all of the scenarios and cater for that accordingly. Whereas if we’ve got the tools there to help us, it can be, 100 percent something that makes our lives easier. 

Em Gee: Yeah. And it’s a conversation. So for example, I said to chatGPT, because one of [00:15:00] the suggestions it gave was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

I was like, okay, just so you know chatGPT, I live in Australia. So can you please change this menu to be a bit more Australian? And of course it comes back with Vegemite and cheese sandwiches and stuff. You’re training it. The other thing that’s important, and I know like I could go off on a tangent on this, but I just want to mention this one thing.

Is because men create AI, we need women using it because when you use it, you’re training it. And at the moment, the people creating it are men, and that means it’s getting their viewpoint. And it’s a very small group of men in Silicon Valley. Right. So what we need is more women using it. So that when you’re using it, you’re training it and it gets the female perspective.

Kylie: More of that sort of feminine side in. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And you can, we’ve got totally gone off track now, but you can put in your, [00:16:00] your details into chatGPT. So just so you know. People list, I know Em knows this, but you can put in, who you are, your age, where you live, what your interests are, what your what your voice is, and Yeah.

And do it. So I actually used chatgpt. I used it in my business, but I actually used it to write a letter to our school principal asking for a reduction in school fees. Yes, because I knew what I wanted to write, but I just wanted to. Do it better because, you’re writing to the school principal.

It has to be right, right? So I put it, run it through chatGPT sounded amazing. I sent it off and then my husband’s laughing and he’s going, you know, they probably have screening tools for that. And they’ll pick up that. It’s been written by chatGPT 

Em Gee: Thing is they can’t. So that’s not possible yet, because if you have two computers side by side that you put the exact same prompt in, it will come up with it.

A different response. Okay. I mean, the thing is chatGPT does sound a bit like chatGPT. So it kind of, yeah. If [00:17:00] you just copy and paste it, usually it’s obvious because they put way too many of the same words in, but I use it all the time for letters. I have a letter that I have to write, I’m going to be using chatGPT today.

Kylie: Oh no, I definitely, definitely edited it, but I just thought, oh my God, brilliant. And it just, it literally saved me an hour of my time. 

Em Gee: If you have a moment where you want, you write an aggressive email back to someone and you’re like, I’m not going to send that copy and paste the aggressive email into chat and say, make this friendly and professional.

Yeah. So you get the opportunity and this is actually good, right? This brings back to like emotions. You get the opportunity to write the letter, the way you want to say it with all the swear words and all of the passive aggressiveness that you like, and you let that out in, you can give it to chatGPT and it’ll write it nicely for you.

So.

Perfect. Cause we’re talking about releasing emotions.

Kylie: Absolutely. It is still on topic. So it’s sort of ladies, how you can use [00:18:00] tools to help with, with, that there’s change in those responses as well. Okay. So you do help women to be unstoppable in business. So how is this related to life and what mindset strategies do you recommend?

Em Gee: So obviously the people that you’ve got listening to this, a combination of, you know, women and careers and, and potentially have their own business. The thing is the mindset strategies are no different. You know, it’s life, business, relationships, health, all of those areas. Mindset is so incredibly crucial.

I have a lot of tools for mindset. I actually have a book. That

I’ll just plug right here, Uncertain to Unstoppable, which is almost two years old now. Oh my gosh. 

Kylie: And we will put the link to Em’s book in the show notes too. 

Em Gee: Yeah, so that book actually goes through quite a lot of mindset strategies. It’s meant to be quite, you know, user friendly in terms of Going through activities.

One of the activities in there is writing a letter. So it was like [00:19:00] what we were talking about before, when you’ve got someone that’s really frustrating you writing a letter to them, not sending it, but just writing it to let yourself express what you need to say can be really helpful. But when I like to think about mindset and being unstoppable, I have one major go to.

Tool that I use in all of my coaching and I have done since, you know, before I was working with women in business. And it’s one I know I will have shared when I was coming into Anja’s group. I absolutely will have shared this. I share it constantly in my group coaching programs, and it’s a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy and neurolinguistic programming.

So I did cognitive behavioral therapy myself when I was in my twenties and struggling with anxiety. And then in my thirties, I learned NLP and I had this moment where I realized there was this powerful way of getting our brain or our mind, our body, it [00:20:00] just getting our being into a state of knowing that it’s going to be okay, no matter what, because that’s, that’s a big problem, particularly with women, we get anxious and we’re like, okay.

But what if, but what if, you know, if I want to make this change, what if we catastrophize? We’re in fear. Fear is a normal human response, but how do we get out of fear so that we can be unstoppable? And the, the tool is just four questions. I call it the worry time technique, but it’s not necessarily, some people don’t necessarily relate it to worries.

It’s just can also be get out of your own damn way technique. Cause sometimes you’re like, I want to do something, but I’m afraid I want to make a change, but I’m afraid. And it’s four questions. So the first question, and I know these off the top of my head, I could say them backwards. I have them written down on a sheet and maybe I’ll send you that sheet as well, Kylie.

So if that, if anyone wants to grab it, they can download it. [00:21:00] The first question is what’s the worst that can happen. So say you want to make a change in your life or say it’s really something quite simple. Like you want to send an email to the principal to ask for a reduced reduction in fees. Your brain wants to go to what’s the worst that can happen.

Yep. So let it go there. It’s going to catastrophize anyway. So give it permission when we try and cut it off and say, no, don’t go there. Don’t think about the worst that can happen. There’s resistance and resistance isn’t actually that helpful. So what’s the worst that can happen? Maybe the school replies and tells you, hell no, get real lady, or they don’t even reply or whatever, you know, that’s the worst that can happen.

Kylie: Realistically, that is the worst. They’re not going to kick my kids out of school because I asked a question. 

Em Gee: Yes, exactly. Right. So sometimes just that question is enough. I don’t care. Whatever. And you go and do it. But sometimes it’s not. The second question is what can you do if the worst happens? And this [00:22:00] allows you to know that even if the worst happens, you’re going to be okay.

There’s, there’s a backup plan, so, you know, say they respond and say no, I mean, that’s when you have a backup plan of, okay, well, do I want to keep my kids at the school? What do I want to do about it? Do I need to, you know, start a a petition, whatever it is, like you have your, your backup plan, our brain, our bodies love a backup plan because then it’s like, it doesn’t matter if plan a doesn’t work because we’ve got plan B.

Yep. Absolutely. The third question is, what can I do to prevent the worst from happening? And this gives you like a to do list. So it might be, use ChatGBT to help me write this so that I’m, it’s professional and friendly. It might be follow it up with a phone call. Whatever it is, you know, it gives you the to do list.

And again, we love to do lists because it makes us feel like we’re in control of the outcome somewhat. Right? Gives us a bit of structure. Exactly. Exactly. So we’ve kind of got the, we’re feeling into what [00:23:00] the worst is that could happen. We’ve got a to do list, we’ve got a backup plan. And then the last question is one that I added on only a few years ago, but I actually, it’s my favorite question now.

It’s what’s the best that could happen? 

Kylie: Yeah. Great reframe.

Em Gee: Because quite often what we don’t realize is the worst that could happen is that the best doesn’t happen. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Well, And so you have to do the thing. 

Kylie: Yeah. And that’s so true because we always, I think it’s, I don’t know if it’s our brain keeping us safe, but we do go to the worst thing.

And we often don’t default to the best thing. So, but if we get in the habit of changing to the best thing, you know, that’s where, you know, so many opportunities could open up for us potentially because we’re going, okay, worst thing that can happen, best thing can happen. Let’s go with the best thing. So, yeah.

Em Gee: Yes. And another kind of bonus [00:24:00] question off the side of that is to, to ask, how would you feel if the best didn’t happen? And so then you’re like, Ooh, I now want to avoid feeling that. And in order for the best thing to happen, I have to do the thing. 

Kylie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right. 

Em Gee: I’d feel awful I’d feel disheartened, I’d feel, you know, upset, whatever it is.

And then you’re like, well, actually, because what we do naturally is we avoid pain and we look for pleasure. That’s what we’re wired to do. So if you get to that point and you’re like, well, I want the pleasure of that thing happening. I don’t want the pain of knowing it hasn’t happened, so now I have to do the thing.

Kylie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Good, yeah. Good sort of motivation or a little kick in the right direction to actually take action on that thing. So, yeah. 

Em Gee: Well, some people are negatively motivated and some people are positively motivated. So some people will be motivated by avoiding pain and going, well, I don’t want that.

[00:25:00] So I’m going to do this thing like that’s really common in weight loss, right? I don’t want to be overweight. So I’m going to go to the gym or I’m going to, you know. Eat bit or whatever it may be, as opposed to someone that’s positively motivated. It’s like, I want to be healthy, so I’m going to do that thing.

And it’s not to say either is right or wrong, but just kind of knowing where your mo, how your motivation works, can help you as well.

Kylie: Yeah, yeah. And I think, and I see it all the time in women, is once they start getting those, so they might be negatively motivated, but once they start getting those results, they realize how good, good it feels, and they want to keep going because.

You know, they’ve got that positive motivation. Yeah. So, 

Em Gee: yeah, I kind of feel like it’s on that on a spectrum, you know, you’ll be maybe 80 percent negatively motivated and 20 percent positive, and then that can kind of balance out a little bit or it can be the other way as well. Yeah. Yeah. No, I love that.

Kylie: Great questions. All right. Em, well, this has been a really good conversation. I’m so glad you came in and I think this will be a [00:26:00] lot, helpful for a lot of women just to sort of see that you can shift that mindset definitely. But I think giving those practical steps of how we can achieve that, I think is, is really good.

Well it has been an absolute pleasure having you on the show. Thank you so much for coming and sharing your wisdom, sharing your energy and, for the little insights into chat GPT too. So I’m sure we’re going to be talking a lot more about that in future episodes. 

Em Gee: Yes. And see more of what I share about that stuff, go over to my Instagram because I do, I talk probably every second day about AI, because I really am on a mission to get more women using it. So yeah, come and connect with me, ask me questions. I’m more than happy for you to jump into my DMS on Instagram and say, Hey, tell me what your biggest takeaway from this was, or ask, ask me a question about something that I shared and yeah, I’m here to connect.

Kylie: Absolutely. And we’ll put all of Em’s contact details in our show notes so you can contact her. [00:27:00] Just Em, what’s your Instagram handle? 

Em Gee: It’s @therealemgee. Not the letters M G.

Kylie: Right. And we will put that in the show notes for everyone. All right. M, my love, thank you so much for coming in.

It has been a great to have you here and we will talk to you soon and everyone, we’ll see you in the next episode.

Thank you for taking the time to listen today. You can head on over to the show notes at kyliepinwill.com/podcast where you’ll find all the links. Now, before we go, it would mean the world to me if you’d head on over to your favorite podcast channel, subscribe and leave a review. Don’t forget to share it with your friends.

Then stay tuned for next week’s episode and I can’t wait to see you then. [00:28:00]