Transcript

Hello ladies, welcome back. This is our very first episode for 2023, and I am so excited. So how are you [00:01:00] feeling today? How did you get through Christmas? For those of you who have joined me on the kickstart, I know you are feeling amazing. I know you are feeling more energetic. For those of you who are thinking about making a change and thinking about, you know, do I wanna be where I am this time next year?

Now, if the answer is no, you don’t have to jump in and do you know all or nothing, or we don’t need to go on a diet. We don’t need to do anything radical. What we need to do is find the right balance. Okay? Now, balance sort of means lots of different things. And you know, I often debate with, you know, a friend of mine, she said, there’s no such thing as balance, but you know, I beg to disagree.

And you know, what I’m gonna talk about today is, you know, because we do struggle with balance, you know, where we’ve sort of, you know, I’m not just talking about physical balance, I’m not even talking about hormone balance, you know, like, you know, of course that’s coming, [00:02:00] but, you know, a more balanced life, you know, so if we are juggling a career, if we are juggling family, if we are, you know, struggling to eat a healthy diet, if we struggle to find time to exercise, you know, heaven forbid our social life, you know, to get all of these things aligned, balance is the only solution. We’re not talking about perfection, we’re not talking about, you know, it has to be right all the time. But to be balanced means that we’re able to manage various elements of our life without feeling like we’re struggling. Okay? Now, this might be easier said than done, right?

There’s two sort of basic categories when I’m sort of looking at balancing. We’ve got internal and also external, and most women have difficulties with either the internal balancing or the external balancing, or, you know, you might be nailing both or you might be struggling with both, but either, you [00:03:00] know, we tend to be more self-reflective, which means we are missing out on life experiences or we are too focused on the external things. So work, relationships and other activities. So we don’t, we are not paying enough attention to what’s actually going on inside us and how we feel. So, you know, so that’s what I mean by internal or external.

So we’re too in our own heads, or we’re too focused on doing all the things. Okay? So, you know, and I all, I know that you’re all leading busy lives, but I want you to take a few moments, just to check in and, you know, across this week check in with yourself to see how balanced you feel. Now when you are, you know what I call balanced, this is where you feel calm, you feel grounded, you feel more clearheaded, focused, motivated, okay?

And it’s when you are [00:04:00] unbalanced, when these things are sort of out of alignment, this is where we feel restless and uneasy. Now, you know, little things like waiting in line at the supermarket or you know, looking at that washing basket, know it needs folding. When these sort of daily things become overwhelming, we know we’re out of balance.

If we are, you know, if you are feeling low on patience with your partner, patience with your kids, you know when you start to become reactive and you start noticing this, you know, this can then put you in that cycle where you feel more anxious, more stressed. Now imagine, wouldn’t it be nice to get rid of that feeling and just feel calmer, feel more in control.

So I’m gonna give you a few sort of steps you can take to kind of restore that balance. So as always, we need to start, you know, identify the things that knock you out of balance. Now, if you already know [00:05:00] what this is, what can you do to change this? You know, have you tried something in the past that’s worked for you before, you know, and if it didn’t work for you before, you need a new strategy.

Okay, decide what’s really important to you. Now, maybe you are struggling to find time for yourself, and let me just say, finding time is a myth. We never find time. You know, we’ve all got the same amount of time. We don’t find it. We need to make it so make it a priority. So what can you, what time can you block off this week for something important to you?

Now, you know, is it preparing healthier meals? Is it, you know, having the food in the house to prepare the healthier meals? Is it finding time to exercise? Is it finding time to stop and breathe? And let me tell you, if you are one of these ladies who is too busy to find the time to stop and breathe, it’s more important that you find the time to stop and breathe.[00:06:00] 

Ok? And just check in with yourself if you sort of think, I don’t have time for that, flip it, and I’ve talked about this before, you know, I am choosing to not prioritize that right now. So if we reword it and reframe it, I don’t have time to cook, you know, a healthy meal, reframe it.

I am choosing not to prioritize cooking a healthy meal. You know, so you can see it’s the same sort of thing, but worded differently and you know, if you truly are choosing not to prioritize it, that is okay. But you know, if it’s something you want to do, but you just don’t have time, then you know, it’s time for us to make that a priority.

I hope that makes sense. 

All right, so some of the things we can do to restore balance. So decide what’s really important to you. Okay? So maybe you are struggling to find time for yourself. Okay. Maybe we need to, you know, then practice more self-care and self-love. So, you know, what does this mean?

This doesn’t mean massages and bubble baths as nice as they are, and if you can do that, awesome. But you know, it might just be taking a bottle of [00:08:00] water and going for a walk. You know, get yourself out in nature. Get yourself to the beach, to the bush, to the forest, wherever you live, mountains, go for a trab if you’re in New Zealand. But even a few minutes of just intentional downtime can make a huge impact on your nervous system, your stress response, your, you know, anxiety, the overwhelm. It can really calm that down. Now the next one is, you know, speak to yourself like you would speak to a friend. So pay close attention to the words that are running through your head during the day.

And once you start paying attention, it’s incredible how many negative things you find, you know, you tell yourself all day. And I want you to only like catch yourself and only say things to yourself that you’d say to a close friend that you love and care about. And I hear women sort of say to me, oh, you know, I didn’t [00:09:00] go out with my friends because, you know, I felt really fat.

I didn’t have anything to wear. I, you know, I didn’t want to go. Now, you would never say to a friend, gee, Kyles, can’t believe you came out to dinner like tonight, you know, look how fat you are. You just wouldn’t say that, I hope not, but you know, but we say it to ourselves. Okay? So speak to yourself like you would a friend.

Okay? Practice planning ahead. Organizing your calendar makes all the difference. So this is where we, those priorities come in and give yourself some buffer time to, you know, make sure you’ve got some spare time to get it done. So intentionally schedule in that downtime, schedule in family time, you know, time to exercise, time to meal prep, time to, you know, make sure you’ve got the, the food on hand to meal prep, you know, and all of this is sort of setting yourself up for success.

Now, the next step [00:10:00] is, finding your passion. So what fuels you? What fulfills you? What brings you joy? You know? And if you are women, one of these women who think you’re not meant to find your calling, you’re wrong. The reality is that anything can be a passion. And you know, we all have them. So keep your eyes open.

And if you are really feeling stuck, you know, what were the things that you enjoyed when you were a teenager or in your twenties that you used to love doing? You know, maybe it was a dance class. Maybe it was a pottery class, maybe it was singing lessons, art, you know, it could be anything. Cooking, hiking, it doesn’t matter, you know, playing a team sport.

 I’ve got a few friends who, or you know, one in particular who does roller derby. I don’t think I’m brave enough to strap on the roller skates, but she’s, and she loves it, you know? So do more of the things that fuel happiness in your life, the things that light you up. So if you can’t, yeah, like I said, [00:11:00] can’t think of it, think of what it used to be when you were younger, because you know that, that person is still inside you. You know, it’s just got busy doing other things. 

And then be more aware of your surroundings. So what’s happening? What’s missing? What can you do to help other people? And sometimes helping others is the best way to help ourselves because it, you know, makes us feel more grounded.

It makes us feel more connected, more satisfied. So, you know, I think the most important thing here is to find your own balance. And it’s when we live up to other people’s expectations or comparing ourselves or we are seeing things on social media, that this can be a source of, you know, anxiety. So what works for some won’t work for you.

So, you know, one of the best pieces of advice I was given a long time ago is stay in your own lane. You know, do what works for you. You do you. You don’t need to conform to somebody else’s idea of, of [00:12:00] happiness or balance or perfect life or Instagram worthy life. You know, it doesn’t need to be like that. And you know, one of the most important things you’ll ever do is to find what you want your life to look like and what your idea of balance is.

And what I really want you to do this week is take in a few minutes each day to connect and check in with yourself. Find your inner balance, and I want you to actively start working towards it. You know, if it’s being healthier, if it’s losing weight, if it’s exercising more, if it’s sleeping better, if it’s, you know, connecting with friends, what are the action steps you need to do to make that happen. And this week I want you to take action towards doing that, and I want you to let me know in the Facebook group what it is that you know you’ve taken action towards. Alright? Now if you’re still listening to this and feeling really stuck, today I have a special gift for you, 50 ideas for self-care.

So [00:13:00] you can download this from the show notes on the website, which is also in the email, the Facebook post, the Instagram post, wherever you are finding the podcast. Go to the show notes and you’ve got 50 ideas for self-care. And if you would like to take it to the next step, you’d like my help, this is what we do inside the Well-Balanced Woman Program.

So we look at not just, it’s not about a diet. You know me well enough by now to know that, but it’s how can we pull in these aspects of your life that are going to calm your nervous system and, you know, bring you joy so we can make all of these things a priority for you. Alright everyone, thanks for listening and I will catch you in the next episode.