Transcript

Kylie: [00:00:00] Hello, and welcome back to the Hormone Hub. Today I’m really excited to be joined by Karlie McKeand, who is a naturopath. And Karlie and I are going to talk today about, you know, why we self-sabotage, what some of our, you know, sort of unconscious or subconscious blocks are that can stop us from reaching our goals and also, you know, what we can do about it.

So Karlie has some pretty cool techniques up her sleeve, which we’ll get to in a second. So welcome Karlie. It’s great to have you. 

Karlie: Oh, thank you so much, Kylie for having me. Can’t wait to chat today. 

Kylie: Yeah. So Karlie, we all know what healthy eating looks like. We all know what we should be doing. We all know we should drink more water.

We should stay away from sugar and not drink so much wine, you know, go to bed earlier. All of the things, exercise, but we don’t do it. So why, why is that? [00:01:00] 

Karlie: Sometimes we have, obviously we have these goals to do better and look after ourselves. And a lot of the time we really want to do those things, but we sabotage us, ourselves, and, and we even sabotage these goals because sometimes there’s these underlying emotions or underlying stress patterns that get us off track with the things that we want to do. And this can be sometimes due to certain belief systems. It can be sometimes things in our past that the brain creates this particular pattern and it contributes to our behaviours. And sometimes that can, that can really help us and save us in certain situations.

But then other times it’s unfortunately, it creates that self-sabotaging pattern and yeah, and the result is that sometimes we don’t do the things that we really want to do. 

Kylie: Yeah. Right. And how does stress [00:02:00] play a role in this? 

Karlie: So, when the body is stressed, this is where we actually influence our unconscious, our unconscious nervous system.

And this is where these, the, the self-sabotaging behaviors are actually from, like, so that’s what, what causes these self-sabotaging behaviors. So sometimes that could be where, someone’s been really busy or really stressed and fell into that sort of burnout part or, or they’re, yeah just are is really tired.

And then when the idea comes with cleaning up the diet, exercising more, and doing a few extra things. The brain might think that that’s extra jobs that are, that that someone has to do. And the body wants to self-sabotage that because that feeling of being burnt out or stressed in the past actually is, it, it actually triggers a response.

So the body doesn’t want to do that, even though it can be really helpful. 

Kylie: Yeah, that’s right. So we know it’s going, we’re going to [00:03:00] feel better if we eat well, or we know we’re going to feel better if we exercise and then we just don’t. 

Karlie: We just don’t do those things. Exactly. Exactly. So then when when we’re making recommendations or we have these particular goals, it’s always beneficial to actually assess the body to see if that particular goal is like the body feels okay with that, that it’s not causing a stress response or a cortisol response because that’s a clue that we might self sabotage ourselves. Or sometimes the things that we’re doing or these patterns or habits can be part of the self-soothing mechanism. Right. So the body actually, associates that with being of benefit.

Yeah, that it’s healthy, even though we know consciously that it’s not, that we’re not really helping. So by taking those things away, even though consciously, we [00:04:00] know that we need to do that and it’s not serving us. And it is affecting our health when you take those things away and the body has created that pattern of being that that’s actually, self-soothing either stress or a busy life or you name.

When you take those things away, this is why we want to self-sabotage because the brain thinks that that is actually beneficial to us. Yeah. 

Kylie: Yeah, definitely. And I hear from women all the time, you know, and they, they’re rewarding themselves. So it might be, you know, with a glass of wine or I’ve had a busy day.

So I therefore need some, you know, chocolate or I need this, or I need that. And yeah, even though it kind of goes against all of their good intentions and what they set out to do, you know, their reward that they’re giving themselves is actually, you know, detrimental to, to where they want to head as well. 

Karlie: And our patterns and our beliefs and how we think about ourselves and our behaviors, a lot of the time are created a long, [00:05:00] long time ago. So even in childhood, right? So then we look at our children, they are rewarded with food. They’re usually rewarded with junk food. They usually rewarded with chocolate, lollies, yeah? So then we create these patterns of that if I do a good thing, or if I’m, if I’m giving myself a reward, we want those types of things. And in actual fact, even as children, right, it doesn’t make us feel good. 

Kylie: Yeah. You fell over and hurt yourself. Oh, darling. Here’s the lolly, you’ll be okay. 

Karlie: So these behaviors, these behaviors are just so ingrained at such a young age, then obviously adults, it might be the wine, it might be the chocolate. It might, it’s still the same pattern. It’s still that we are rewarding ourselves or other people are rewarding us with certain foods or drinks. And that’s why it’s so hard to actually shift these habits or all these food choices. It’s so much deeper than [00:06:00] just making a plan and just recommending or wanting to take them out of your diet, it’s so much deeper than that.

Kylie: Yeah, a hundred percent because I see, you know, ladies all the time who, you know, they have a goal, they know what they want to do. And then yeah, they just can’t, it’s almost like they can’t help themselves, that emotional eating. Cause I guess if you go right back, you know, as babies, when we cried, our mothers fed us.

So that emotional attachment to food goes right the way back to when we were babies. 

Karlie: Well, it is that primitive part of the brain, it’s survival. Right. But then we get, we get confused of being children, toddlers, adolescents, and adults, that those foods for our survival is not just like clean, healthy food that’s really beneficial to us. It’s actually all, usually all the wrong things. And so the brain creates these habits. Sorry. The patterns of, if something is safe or something is dangerous. [00:07:00] And so pretty much it goes into one or two of them, two of those pathways. And if the junk food or the sugars or the chocolates have been in part of that, the beneficial and the safe, then why would the body want to give that up.

Kylie: Yeah, definitely. 

Karlie: Definitely. You can consciously know, and you can consciously know that those foods aren’t good for you, but from an unconscious perspective where the unconscious pretty much drives the, drives the shifts, if it thinks that these junk foods or these foods or drinks are the safe option and it doesn’t want to take them away. That’s survival. There’s so much more that we have to do when we are making choices and changes. We have to be addressing the underlying reasons, the underlying beliefs, the underlying patterns or behaviors, or otherwise we will self sabotage ourselves because it’s these unconscious preference for these foods, because that is the safe option.

That is the [00:08:00] survival. Anything other than that is dangerous. It triggers that fear response. And then we self-sabotage ourselves around that. A lot of sort of self worth stuff, right? Is that we sabotage ourselves. And even though the brain’s doing that, because there is a, an underlying reason for that, but then we, if we are not eating the things that we want to do, then that triggers in the not good enough.

Not worthy. I can’t stick to something I’m failing, I’m going to be judged. And then that sort of, then that triggers more emotional stuff. Cause usually that’s already a beliefs system, I mean, a lot of, a lot of women that I see anyway, then then the emotional eating gets triggered from that. Right. So then it’s the two different ways that we are sabotaging ourselves.

And this is where we can get ourselves into a really big rut. 

Kylie: Yeah. Yeah. That’s so true. And it’s so true, you know, when you talk to women [00:09:00] who, you know, and I talked to a lot of women who, you know, they’ve been on in that diet cycle for ever, you know, they’ve tried everything and they’ve never been able to make anything stick.

So yeah, there’s obviously that, that conditioning there that goes back a long time. A long time. So there’s a few things, you know, that we can sort of do there. And, you know, with a lot of my clients, I talk about, you know, what else can we do to satisfy that? Cause at the end of the day, we’re all creatures of comfort and we want to make ourselves feel good.

So I talk all the time about, you know, having a nice glass and instead of putting wine in it, you know, putting some raspberries or some strawberries and some, you know, to make it look pretty and make it look nice. But you, you work a little bit differently with your clients, so, and you, you have a specific technique that you use and, you know, for full transparency, I have also [00:10:00] been one of Karlie’s clients for a couple of years now using this specific technique. So Karlie, would you like to sort of tell us a little bit about NER? 

Karlie: Yeah. So what I actually do to assess in my practice, and obviously, like you’ve just said, Kylie, I’ve been working with you for a long time. And because the reason for that is that we’re addressing the root issues of what’s going on.

So I like to assess their body to see if emotions or stress patterns are driving our behaviors or our belief systems or our symptoms in our body, but particularly the reason why we do the things that we do, because if we can actually address the why we do those things, we’re going to make, a longer, well, we’re actually addressing the issue so we can stop that behavior or we can make a big change or you can actually, you can actually achieve your goals a lot faster because you’re not battling with yourself.

We’re not relying on willpower to get us there. W e’re just addressing [00:11:00] the issues or the behaviors or the patterns that actually drive that behavior in the first place. And a lot of the time, this can be things that have been triggered from a long time ago and that particular pattern just continues.

And like I said before, it can also be a, a belief of not feeling good enough.. Or not feeling important or feeling judged this can, those belief systems can affect our behaviors and why we do the things we do. So with NER, so naturopathic emotional release, it is a way of assessing the body to see if that is the driver.

And so it’s done through kinesiology, a bit of kinesiology, through some Meridian points, like in Chinese medicine. And then we process through that way too. So there’s a specific process and it’s just so effective. And so, so amazing because we actually really get to the root of what’s going on and process that so we can really speed up results.

And so, like you said before about eating and drinking, when we [00:12:00] make those recommendations because it’s, or somebody wants to make that as part of their goals to improve their health, we want to make sure that the body is ready for that, that we can actually integrate and process anything that might drive that behavior.

Or like we said, with the brain, if that’s feeling safe to be drinking the bottle of wine each night, we want to know why that’s, why that’s happening, where that came from and process that. So the body knows that that isn’t a safe thing, that we don’t feel that that’s beneficial, that we want to create that, that neutral ground so that we can choose what we want to do rather than our nervous system or our unconscious that drives those behaviours.

Kylie: Yeah. Yeah 100%, and the beauty of this, so when Karlie and I first met a couple of years ago, you know, I was learning this technique from Karlie, you know, to use with my clients. And Karlie just has this amazing skill because we were doing it [00:13:00] physically in person. And then Karlie has, you know, been able to sort of take that online.

So for the last two years, she and I have worked a hundred percent online together, and yeah, like I said, it was something that we started working on together for, you know, from a business perspective and how, what was sort of blocking me in my business, how I could grow, you know, all of that sort of thing.

So it was a whole new sort of field for me, but definitely. I think, you know, it helped me, from a business perspective, sort of open up, I guess, the limitations that I put on myself for how many women I could work with, whether or not I could, you know, bring on a team to work with me. I didn’t have to do it all myself, you know?

And then every time we sort of get to this new level in business, you know, Karlie and I work together to just take out those blocks so I can, I’ve got that capacity to grow to that next level. So it can really apply to sort of [00:14:00] any area of life, you know, so it doesn’t have to be weight loss. It doesn’t have to be food or alcohol or drinking.

It can be whatever’s holding you back, you know, and anywhere that where you might not be feeling worthy of what you’re doing. All right. So Karlie talk us through, and I know it is a visual thing, I guess, NER, but can you talk us through, like what sort of testing you do, like how do you get to that, that cause of what’s going on? 

Karlie: So I’m assessing the subconscious through muscle testing. So muscle testing is a way of tapping into that autonomic part of the nervous system where it knows everything about you. It beats your heart, it digest your foods. It literally knows everything about you. So when we’re muscle testing, whether that’s in person, and as you mentioned, I do this online and a lot of [00:15:00] Kinesiologists are able to muscle test online, we can assess to see if your body is creating a cortisol stress response, whether this is with testing a particular organ to see if it’s functioning or if there’s any sort of stress that might be driving, an issue with that particular organ or system. I can test to see behaviors. So if it’s about assessing why we do the things that we do, whether that’s our food choices, our drink choices, why we are overachievers, perfectionists, why we can’t commit to ourselves? Why don’t we go really well with something for a few weeks and then we get off track because it all seems too hard. All these things that we can be assessing to see if there’s a stress response driving this and that again is through this muscle testing.

So we’re testing to see if the body is causing a stress response. And if there is a stress response, this is where we’re testing. All right. We want to know why, where this comes from and what type of emotion it is so that we have insight to [00:16:00] what’s driving that. And then we get to process it. So then when we have processed it, essentially that particular stressor is integrated from the system.

So you shouldn’t find that things keep repeating. So, and I’ve had really great success in all different areas, like you mentioned, but particularly with like giving up certain things or p rocessing patterns that hold us back, why we want to dim our light, why we don’t want to push forward? Why we, why we don’t look after ourselves as well as we know that we should, because sometimes there is a pattern. Sometimes there is a behavior and sometimes it’s a belief system that we are not important, or we are not good enough or we don’t want to be seen and we don’t want to be heard. And again, all these belief systems can be created from such a long time ago. And these belief system really don’t serve us.

When we go through life, they actually hinder us. They hold us back. We don’t, we’re not truly our best selves, and we’re not [00:17:00] showing up as our best selves, or sometimes you’re not even treating ourselves with kindness and compassion and, and love. We’re actually completely sabotaging everything that’s good for us.

And so by making recommendations and putting things in place and having conversations about what we should be doing or what’s beneficial, sometimes it’s not enough when there are these belief systems in place or these, there are these patterns in the subconscious that’s driving, all those things. So with NER, we’re assessing, if that’s the issue, then we want to go and process that whole concept in the stress response, in the nervous system so that we can do things differently so that we can actually achieve the things that we want, or we actually completely resolve what’s going on by actually addressing that root issue of it all.

Kylie: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely fascinating. And what I’ll do is I’ll put all your contact details [00:18:00] in our show notes. So if anyone is sort of looking listening to this thinking, that’s me, that’s me. That’s me, I know I’ve got a block, you know, we can certainly look at, you know, how we can layer, you know, using NER into, you know, and having, booking in sessions with Karlie just to sort of work through these things, because quite often, you know, when we’re stuck in that same pattern, you know, we can have the steps to move us through, but by, by sort of breaking that cycle, it can sort of take it to the next level a hundred percent. 

Karlie: Yeah, absolutely Kylie. That’s exactly. That’s exactly what it is. So having that plan is so important, but then we want to make sure that there’s nothing that’s going to sabotage, get in the way. And, with both of those things together, it’s, it’s a, it’s a lot easier road to get to your goals. , and, and again, you’re addressing all the issues of what needs to happen like that needs to have like improve to, to get you closer to what you want.

Kylie: Yeah. [00:19:00] Yeah, no, that’s fantastic. All right, Karlie. Well, thank you so much for coming in today. And that is really exciting. And I think, yeah, like I said, we’ll put Karlie’s information in the show notes. So if you want to find out more about NER or booking a session with Karlie, all of her details will be there.

Karlie: Okay. Thanks for having me Kylie. 

Kylie: Thank you so much, Karlie.